i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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