i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
