I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
