Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
