I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Randomize
