4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize