I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
