Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
