And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
