Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
