Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
