I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Randomize
