I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
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