Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize
