Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
jump out the window naked night went bad
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