Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Actions speak louder than pants.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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