I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
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I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I'm too high and old for this...
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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