Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Randomize