ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize