she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
