I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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