i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
