i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
