i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
