1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
