I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Someone signed my nipple.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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