Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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