after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
