Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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