did you get engaged???
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
