Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
