if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
My pussy is not your playground.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize