Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
