what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
