I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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