At least make sure they are 18
Why
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
