Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
