Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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