I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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