Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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