Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
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