i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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