you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
