Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
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