Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
