she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
