I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
