wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
