Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Randomize
