Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Randomize
