Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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