forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
A bitchslap is in order.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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