Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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