the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize