I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
