How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sarcasm needs its own font
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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