Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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