its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
