dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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