It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
