it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
