He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize