ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
