you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
