Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
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yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize