Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
