I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
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