She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Randomize
