I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
